Stop Your Inner Critic From Getting the Better of You

Which type do you have, and what is it trying to achieve?

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The inner critic is a term used to personify the negative thoughts we have about ourselves. Seeing these thoughts as coming from a distinct part of us can help us step back from harsh self-beliefs.

Surprisingly, our inner critics are trying to protect us with their grim self-deprecation and self-doubt. Understanding this can help us work with, as opposed to against them.

There are different types of inner critics; which one do you have?

• The overachiever wants us to impress. It ensures we continually strive for success, although our successes never quite satisfy it. It drives us to work long hours and take on too much.
• The perfectionist wants our work to be of the highest possible standard and questions if it is good enough. It is afraid of failure and judgment.
• The all-or-nothing critic shames us if we slip up on goals we have set ourselves concerning food, exercise, money, or work. It tries to control us so that we do not become lazy or complacent.
• The people-pleaser makes us obedient and well-behaved. It wants us to fit in for fear of abandonment and worries about upsetting or disappointing others.
• The self-doubter questions our abilities and attacks our self-worth. It encourages us to hide and avoid risks, hoping this will protect us from failure. It causes procrastination and avoidance.
• The inferior critic makes us compare ourselves to others. It is hypervigilant because it worries that we might be judged and rejected if we do not match up.
• The pessimist encourages us to expect the worst to avoid disappointment. It put us down in the hope it will then hurt less if others do.
• The self-blamer ruminates on our wrongdoings and goes over things we wish we’d done differently. They hope this will prevent us from repeating mistakes.

Our inner critics often get the opposite of what they want

The self-critical parts of us are preoccupied with what others think of us. They seek external validation yet are never comforted or reassured when they receive it.

Our critical thoughts are trying to protect us from rejection, abandonment, aloneness, and failure. However, their attacks perpetuate shame. They ruin opportunities for true acceptance by stopping us from being ourselves, and they exhaust us. They squash our free-spirited, creative and rebellious nature.

There is another way

Thank your inner critic. It wants you to be loved, happy and successful. It believes there is no other way to help you.

It is wrong.

Laugh at yourself. Explore your passions, unleash your creativity, embrace failure and accept disappointment. Have fun. Let your inner critics know you’ve got this.